All of It

comments: 70















People, Mama went DOWN. Like a felled redwood. I hit the forest floor. Then curled up like a roly-poly bug and moaned. Everything was going well until Saturday night. I thought I was feeling pretty good! We had a great day on Thursday, a wonderful Mother's Day party here with Amelia's birthfamily on Friday, and then Andy worked on Saturday, and Mimi and I had the best time going out to lunch and then shopping for a birthday present for her cousin. We got home around three. Amelia had just fallen asleep on the sofa-bed and I went out on the back porch to read — first quiet moment in days. I was so happy. But no sooner did I get four or five pages in (I'm actually trying to read this, which may have been partially to blame? Not exactly easy reading, what am I thinking) than my ear seemed to spawn an enormous puffball mushroom on the inside. I shook my head like a dog. I stuck my finger in my ear. I tipped my head upside down. I shook my head harder. What in the hell??? I Googled "my ear just filled up like a water balloon and it's gonna blow!" I had no idea what was happening. The next morning, I was at Zoom Care the minute they opened. "Ah yes, you have a little ear infection brewing." My first ever. All my life I've heard people talk about ear infections but I never really knew what they meant.

Sad face! :(((( If you don't know, try to keep it that way, seriously.

Ah, well. No brunch, no rose garden, no new dresses. Instead it was just lots of snuggle time on the sofa yesterday with my sweetest boos, Charlie and Lola episodes on repeat, Andy-made stuffed shells for dinner (my favorite food), sunshine and sitting around in the back yard when we got bored, me endlessly describing my symptoms in great detail. It was actually pretty wonderful, aside from the fact that I couldn't hear anything anyone was saying, and felt like my ear was going to burst, Mt. St. Helens–style, right off the side of my head. I kept looking at my ear in the mirror like, really? But it looks so normal! I just couldn't believe it was skin-colored (and not chartreuse) and regular sized (not gargantuan, like an elephant ear). I thought maybe I was hallucinating the fact that it appeared normal.

In spite of it all, my God, I must be the happiest, luckiest, most-blessed mama on the face of this earth. I kissed my girl a thousand times yesterday, and said my prayers, and I say them for you, too. I wish for all of it, every bit of it, for you. Not the ear infection part. Just everything else. Xo


Love the pink peonies - so pretty.

Sorry to hear about the ear infecting. Hope all is well now.

When I was a wee thing I remember having an earache(s). Mama would heat up olive oil with a tiny bit of camphor, then she'd have me tilt my head to the side then commence to pour a drop at a time into my infected ear. It was awful. Earaches can be so painful.

Hope this cooler weather sticks around a while longer.

Oops, my mistake - those aren't peonies - I believe they're rose's - LOL to myself.

I'm so sorry to read of your year. I've been suffering through 6+ months of ear pressure and can fully relate the misery.

I will keep you in my prayers and hope that you heal quickly.

Ear ache?! Just terrible, even worse than the worst kind of toothache. Only had very mildly as adult but as a child it was a real problem, and yes like a switch into such complete misery, the pain becomes you. I can only sympathise and hope it gets better really soon. You acted quickly so hopefully it will.

Beautiful flowers, wonderful colours.

I'm sorry you've been so sick lately! I've only had one ear infection in my life - several years ago - and it was horribly painful. The doctor even said, "Now you know why babies scream when they have ear infections!" No kidding. I hope you are feeling better soon. Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day, Alicia. I hope you're feeling better soon. I've only had a couple of ear infections but they were pretty terrible. I'm glad you were able to enjoy the weekend in spite of feeling under the weather.

Margot Troolines says: May 11, 2015 at 04:47 PM

For some reason, I haven't checked on your blog for quite a while. I called it up today, and there you were, just as lovely, just as warm, just as, well, it has to be said: COZY as ever! I am so sorry you've been sick, but thank you for making my day, (again,) with your words and pictures....You can bet I will be checking a lot more often :)

I had many, many ear infections as a kid, but only one as an adult, and it was just as excruciating as you described! Mine actually burst because I had to wait a couple days to see a doctor...that was 5 years ago and I still hear a weird buzzing every time I floss my teeth :) I hope you're on the mend now.

Glad you're on the mend. Ear infections are no joke!
Maybe this weekend coming up it can be rose garden, brunch, and new dresses. Happy Mother's Day! Sometimes a good day of snuggles is a perfect way to celebrate.

Remarkably crummy business those ears aches! And I agree... there should be much greater visible evidence to match the drama of what it feels like. Thank God for antibiotics and the comforts of home and family.

Ear infections are no fun! I haven't had one since I was a kid. My daughter has had several and was completly miserable with them. I hope you are on the road to recovery. I love your photos today - the roses are gorgeous!

My goodness I had an ear infection a few years ago and man, it was like something out of this world. I was hearing the t.v echoing and suddenly felt sorry for the kids who get them. Hope it's all cleared up now.

Oh dear Alicia - so sorry to hear you weren't well. Hope you feel better super quickly. Its crappy being out of action with so much happening around you and so many things to do. I used to get ear infections when I was little from way too many afternoons in the lake , diving in and out of the boat into the water. I paid the price afterwards for all that fun but hey - it was worth it but ear infections are nasty! Best memories ever as a kid in that lake.

Oh my . . . big time ouch . . .
Pardon me saying so, you wrote about it beautifully . . .
Please tell me you are better!

Oh my. I'm glad you could gets lots of snuggles in at least. Get well soon!

Ugh! As soon as you said a puffball mushroom spawned in your ear, I knew exactly what you were talking about. That is exactly how it feels, and oh the pain, and oh how I always wished I could touch it and describe it, it's awful. I hope you're better now. I had many, many ear infections as a child, until finally I had tubes put in, which helped. Then I had a few as an adult, and I think it hurt even more. No wonder kids with ear infections get fevers and cry miserably! For my kids' ear infections I finally discovered garlic oil. I make it myself and keep some around, warm it and drop it in the ear sparingly, and it always clears the infection up without all the antibiotics and stuff.

cynthia says: May 11, 2015 at 06:34 PM

ooh, that's awful. my one ear infection was quite painful. on a lighter side, the queen anne's lace is simply gorgeous. they look like stars. please look for ken kesey's "little tricker the squirrel meets big double the bear". it's a children's book and i lost my voice reading all the parts to my sons. they loved it. belated mother's day greetings. you are brilliant. xo

sorry about the ouchy ear! ....your photos make me so homesick for Oregon- so beautiful! I will be there in late June...most of the Spring flowers will go gone by then

Oh goodness.. at first I thought you fell in the woods! But I'm so sorry to hear of your ear ache, I had one once and it hurt soooooo bad! Lucky that you got help very soon. Sorry you had to miss some of your celebration plans, but glad you got to do some of them. We had a very mellow day, I planted flowers and we BBQed chicken for our two sons and their families and ate on the deck. Good times. ((hugs)), Teresa :-)

i was shocked at how painful an ear infection is (I had one about four years ago--the first since early childhood). I was much more sympathetic when my children got them after that. If you haven't been stung by a bee in recent history, beware--also shockingly painful.

Penny G says: May 11, 2015 at 07:18 PM

You always remind me that I am blessed beyond any expectation. You so love the simple things and they all add up to a joyful life. That makes me look for the little things and know how wonderful they are.

That was one of my dad's favorite books. I must have started it fifteen times in the last 15 years. I can't get through it. I desperately want to, but I just can't. I just started The Goldfinch yesterday and got 100 pages in before turning out the lights. I'm so excited to be reading an actual adult book!!!

Wow! I guess I've never had an ear infection either. Now I'm scared!(Happy Mother's Day to You!)

Amy in Va says: May 11, 2015 at 08:01 PM

Feel better. I've had a ruptured ear drum and had two c-sections. I'd choose a c-section over a ruptured ear drum.
Enjoy Charlie and Lola, I watch by myself when our baby monsters are watching Power Rangers these days instead, so e days I feel like Soren Lorenson

Ear infections are awful. I got my first one when my daughter started school and still continue to get them occassionally. Yes they are awful things and make you feel very sick. I hope you feel much better soon.

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About Alicia Paulson


My name is Alicia Paulson
and I love to make things. I live with my husband and daughter in Portland, Oregon, and design sewing, embroidery, knitting, and crochet patterns. See more about me at




Since August of 2011 I've been using a Canon EOS 60D with an EF 18-200mm kit lens and an EF 100mm f/2.8 Macro lens.