Tiny Lights

comments: 100

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Christmas things, loving things, soups and breads and friends and parties, lights and candles to fill the December days. This morning it is raining as hard as I've ever seen it, and it's as dark as late afternoon. We have a busy week ahead (who doesn't), and I'm resisting the urge to climb back into bed and pull up the quilts and knit and knit and knit; but no, that won't happen. Instead I light candles and say a prayer for the world, the news of which I can't lately seem to absorb with anything but melancholy, though I strive for hope. In the mornings, we snuggle for hours (one of the benefits of getting up hours before light sneaks up on the windows). Andy and Clover sleep. Under the covers, I pull my daughter's warm body into mine. She holds my big hand on her small belly. She eats a banana (two bananas) and I drink very hot, very strong coffee by the light of the string of paper stars we got a few months ago. I've put them on a dimmer, and thus can turn them down to the barest, dimmest, almost-golden glow. We're under softest flannel sheets and wool blankets and wool-filled quilts, with a dozen pillows at our backs. Foxy, Pengy, Snowy Bear, Bruno, and Big Bunny — all here, too. Quietly, quietly she sings back to me the lullaby I sing to her each night. It's a tune I made up, with the words from a book. Her sweet voice, her lisp. Her whisper-singing: on key. Her warm, bare legs sliding along mine. She fits so perfectly against my shoulder, under my arm. I ask her if she can hear the rain and she nods (mouth now full). It drums, relentless, against the old windows just inches behind us. I hold her close and kiss her head, and press my cheek to her hair. Stay like this. Just here. We'll let it all swirl and rumble outside. I'll hold you tight. I'll hold you tight.

100 comments

Dreamy December photo's. The dim white lights giving off a warm golden glow. I can almost smell the yummy soup and bread.
I so love this time of year when the rain soaks the ground and the wind removes the last of Falls leaves. And family & friends spend more time together.
Merry Christmas Paulson Family and all the best for the coming New Year
🎄🎁🌟👪

You write so beautifully. Your words go so deep. You say what the rest of us wish we could say. I just love coming here and seeing the world through your lens. If only we could keep them safe and warm and under the covers forever. Bless.

Shelley Noble says: December 07, 2015 at 11:58 AM

Well, it is positively shameful how you can make things as beautifully as you do AND that your writing is even better than that. Thankfully, we have this blog to read this story, so gorgeously told. Bless you, Alicia.

Sweet and lovely. Blessings to you and your family.

I miss my girls. I'm traveling for work and this made me so homesick.

Your home is so warm, cozy and inviting. I love reading your blog, you write beautifully.

Oh, my heart is full for you! Your Mummy & little one descriptions are so lovely. I feel the same levels of ouchy melancholy about the news at the moment. I'm holding onto hope with you. For a renewed world, a little one, a family of my own. You give me hope Alicia! Thank you for filling my morning days with hope x

Beautiful! I especially love the village scene with hanging stars.

Beautiul photos showing your joy in the season and your family. Life is beautiful.

What delightful and warm images you shared! I have two parties at my house coming up and I'm inspired to make a big pot of soup. You really know how to live a wonderful life. Enjoy that darling child, I know you do. I'm going to finish my card writing today!

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((hugs)), Teresa :-)

I love your posts. Your daughter lives in such a magical world. Your home is so cozy and inviting.
I would love to know the recipe for your two layer cake and icing...it looks like just the thing I want for my Christmas gathering>

Oh that sounds like the perfect way to weather the gales - we've been listening to them wrap around our house over the last few weeks and it reminds me so much of my childhood on the coast, cosy inside while the storm raged beyond the windows.

This post reads like a beautiful poem, such precious moments. x

I have a lump in my throat now. Moments like that with my littlest boy are rarer these days. But you paint the picture so beautifully, the times past when we had moments like this together are vivid again. Thank you Alicia. Thank you. CJ xx

I love the picture you paint of Portland. Spokane is similar only a bit colder. With your words the love for your family is an even clearer picture. Thank you for this Alicia.
Blessings,
Betsy

I'm teary and thank you again for sharing your beautiful words and photos. How I wish I could write like you. I'm holding tight to moments just as you described so perfectly. My girl just turned 10 and fortunately still loves to cuddle and talk and dream. But I know time is fleeting.

I'm so grateful for the light you brought me today. xx Jen

I always look forward to your posts, lovely gentle things that they are, but this one nearly made me cry. Thank you for sharing your mother's love with a reader.

Ah, can't help thinking of G. MacDonald's Baby Sermon with this post, "the lightening and thunder, they go and they come; but the stars and the stillness are always at home."

beautiful...

Thank you for the lovely photos and words and thank you Hosanna who commented before me with George MacDonald's poem. I'm pulling that book off the shelf to read.

love. love. love. <3

Lovely, lovely post. I'm so glad I found you.

I love snuggling with my little guy too. One of the joys of parenthood. I try not to fret about the day when he is too old to snuggle with mom in bed. Hopefully a long way off... Celebrate light!

Oh dear. You've done it again. Gone and made me cry. I treasure those moments with my sweet warm little boy. Early in the morning he tiptoes into our room and wakes me up, whispering "can we snuggle Mama?" Of course! Until infinity.

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About Alicia Paulson

About

My name is Alicia Paulson
and I love to make things. I live with my husband and daughter in Portland, Oregon, and design sewing, embroidery, knitting, and crochet patterns. See more about me at aliciapaulson.com

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Photography

Photography

Since August of 2011 I've been using a Canon EOS 60D with an EF 18-200mm kit lens and an EF 100mm f/2.8 Macro lens.