Autumn Feel

comments: 114

3PArk2

26Fairy1

28Leaves1

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26Playing1

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30Party3

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30Party4

30Party

31Halloween4

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31Halloween5

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29Toys1

28Cabinet2

31Playing1

3Park1

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5Park5

Few words, lots of feels. I stood on the other side of the one-way-glass window and watched her dance and was filled with so much joy for her obvious joy I couldn't speak, embarrassed by my tears in front of the other moms. She tried to curtsy, crossing her feet and falling over sideways, smiling. It's so beautiful sometimes I am overcome. How incredible to have a piece of one-way glass behind which to stand, and watch, and not be observed, and, so, not distract. She waved right at me and someone said, "But how can she see you?" I said I had no idea, and instinctively almost ducked. Later she told me she could see the shadow of my glasses, and I had told her I'd be standing right there. The music was poignant. The afternoon outside glowed. The little girls were birds in their nests, birds flying, and butterflies. In the hallway, the older dancers gossiped loudly and were shushed. The paint in the clothes-changing room was such an incredible barely pink shade of pink I touched the wall. Sometimes I have these moments in parenthood where I just can't believe I am finally a mother, and the air changes color. This week it was frequently pure gold. If you're still waiting, don't give up.

 

114 comments

The picture of Mimi and her princess friend holding hands for Trick or Treating!!! Beautiful!

Ok, I went back and read the post. Oh, you so nailed it, the air changes color. Do we ever do anything bigger in life than care for another person?

Love, love love your words and your photos capture such beautiful heart warming moments...thankyou for sharing xx

You have such a beautiful way with words and photos. Thanks for sharing and making my life richer. Am so happy for you in this journey of life!

Such gifts, these graces and joys... this golden light.
You reflect it so well.

Beautiful words and pictures. There really is nothing better than motherhood. Mine is grown with children of her own and I still feel wonder at the blessing that is my daughter.

Beautiful photos and descriptions. I'm glad that I'm not the only mother who tears up during her daughter's ballet class (or school play). So glad your week has been golden.

Jennifer Quinlan says: November 04, 2016 at 01:20 PM

My oldest is 16. I still can't believe this is my life, that these are my babies. It still takes my breath away.

I love watching life unfold for you as a parent. Enjoying the joys of it. Watching Mimi grow up. It really truly is a magical journey with so many moments.

I check daily to see if you have posted. Your posts bring me so much joy and contentedness. I don't know you, but I appreciate more than you could ever know that you share your world with us. You bring a smile to my face and fill my heart with such a warm feeling. Thank you. Thank you from the absolute bottom of my heart.

Crying over the beauty of your child is sweet beyond belief. Don't ever be embarrassed about that. Love the way you express yourself and so thankful that you choose to share it with us. I know that parenting a child can be exhausting, frustrating, and sometimes "not what you thought" but for the most part, for me, anyway, it has been the most fulfilling and beautiful part of my life. I still look at my 37-year old and almost come to tears. It never stops being incredible. Enjoy every minute.

Poetry :)

I envy your ability to say things. Thank you for sharing it. Sometimes your posts are like poems.

My goodness. Beautiful. All of it. Thanks.

oh my goodness such beauty in your words and descriptions. then the photos bring the words to life and it's all just perfect.

Yes! I feel this way, too. What Natalie said, and Susan, and Denise. It's so fundamental, but for many people, sadly elusive, this joy. Thank you for blogging, and sharing your lovely photos.

Your last sentence is lovely. Thoughtful and lovely. I do like the picture of all the toys together. They look as if they are about to secretly come to life. How neat all your spices are. Things like that make me happy. Fantastic to see the community garden, I always like to see how things are down there. Looks like you had a brilliant Hallowe'en. The sausage mummies are inspired. Have a lovely weekend Alicia. CJ xx

Love your last post - well, love all of your posts. Your tears of joy reminded me of watching our daughter sing in her school choirs many years ago. I can't listen to a choir now without crying - must be something about lost innocence. Many thanks for sharing and creating a community.

Anne Nicholson says: November 04, 2016 at 03:10 PM

I am so touched by your posts and pictures! You capture the most beautiful moments of your little girl's life. Life is good,
and your daughter is breathtaking! Enjoy every second. My little girl is getting married in one week. The excitement is overwhelming.

I envy your one-way window because my daughter can't concentrate when I watch her dance. She waves and grins and I have to pretend I'm reading so she won't pay too much attention to me. I liked seeing all those old FP toys. I had the same little red bus when I was little. My dad bought it for me in Mexico when he went there for work. I wish I still had it now.

She knew you'd be standing right there. That says everything about the love and faith she has in you. It brought a tear to my eye. ♡

Lovely images one and all. Mimi was magic in the shot of her alone in her princess outfit and her beautiful hair billowing out.. sweetness. You are one brave mom to have all those kids carving pumpkins in the middle of your house. :-) Those red pin oak leaves are the exact same as the ones from my huge pin oak.. they are literally carpeting our farmyard.. the whole place is red. ((hugs)), Teresa :-)

It once weighed me down that I could not put into words the teary ecstasy of watching my children in certain solitary moments. I read your words and am at peace. Thank you for capturing what is so wild and rare it seems nearly impossible that one could feel so much. Thank you for reminding me of my happiest memories and helping me to look for the magic still. I'm so, so grateful.

I love how much you love her.

the fisher-price a-frame! YES. my children played with mine, too. love, love, love.

and your words in this post (and every other)? you are one of the rarest of the rare -- to make it look easy to write simple ... pure ... true. what a gift.

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About Alicia Paulson

About

My name is Alicia Paulson
and I love to make things. I live with my husband and daughter in Portland, Oregon, and design sewing, embroidery, knitting, and crochet patterns. See more about me at aliciapaulson.com

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Photography

Since August of 2011 I've been using a Canon EOS 60D with an EF 18-200mm kit lens and an EF 100mm f/2.8 Macro lens.