Morning Light

comments: 744

Snow2Near Sandhills Road, Towner, North Dakota; 8:14 a.m., November 17, 2011.

I honestly don't have words to thank every single one of you who has left the sound of your voice (and a piece of your heart) here the past two days (and the past few months, and always). Thank you for your encouragement, your generosity, your frustration, your tears, your prayers for everyone, your endless kindness, and your love. Andy says thank you for telling us not to give up. We both read every single word you shared, and with each one we felt lighter and stronger and more free; we talked about it several times throughout the day, and stayed up in bed late last night talking. Thank you for being here, in this very moment. It is so good to be part of the world all together. Look how beautiful it is!

I have a lot of thoughts about everything but they are all tangled and jumbled around today. It is storming something fierce outside! I have a new coat. My neighbor's awnings are about to blow off. We need candles, and mushrooms, and black elderberry syrup. We have firewood. We have animals sitting on top of us every minute. The leaves will all come off the trees today. I'm back in my window seat by the fireplace, watching winter roll in, making some plans. I have coffee, I have people, I have love, and things to give. This ain't my first rodeo! Back on the horse.

Walk on, girl!


Bless you, dear heart.

God bless you all. Please know that I am thinking of all of you and praying for all of you too. You are amazing.

One day, some little child is going to be SO lucky to get you guys for parents. She's waiting. I just know it.

Tammy Barnum says: November 22, 2011 at 10:35 AM

We love you Andy and Alicia! Happy Thanksgiving. Never give up!

I'm so glad your chin is up. Sit back, relax, the universe is giving you a sign...I'm thinking and praying for that sweet baby girl always!

My heart aches for the two of you and for the little one who won't get to know you. I am sending hugs and warm wishes across the country to you. Keep the faith. :-)

Lots of love,

Many blesses to you and Andy!

My daughter and I sobbed for you yesterday. We couldn't write. We are praying for you, and trust that God will show you His goodness in the midst of this great loss. We love you, even though we only know you on the internet. Today I took my doggie for a walk in this crazy rain. It was wonderful, and I recommend it to you, with your new coat! Sending lots of love and prayers.

There is a child waiting for you. Keep faith.

I wasn't able to post a message yesterday for some reason... please know you are all in my thoughts and heart.

Filled with gratitude for all of you and all who love you. Happy Thanksgiving. This was the sweetest, most beautiful post. Thank you for sharing it.

michele (maryland) says: November 22, 2011 at 10:38 AM

Andy and Alicia against the world, and you two will WIN!

so glad you and Andy have a second wind and the comfort of small things.. your time will come.. when you probably least expect it.
:-) xo deb

Good for you! Always remember you are not alone. Lots of love and prayers are with you all....

This world is a much better place because you and Andy are in it. The vastness of your hearts is a marvel in itself. Praying and sending you warm wishes for a Thanksgiving filled with all the things that bring you comfort.

The grace with which you and Andy choose to live your lives is like the sunrise for all of us. You are truly soulful people, and the world is a better place for having you two within.

Much love and comfort to you both on the next new leg of your journey.


Thank you for this post - you two are so strong and good, and life will go on and continue to bless you, despite how it must feel right now.

oh, and about that coat? One of my favorite lines from a book ("A Three Dog Life," you should read it, but maybe not right *now*) ever: "Shopping is hope for the future."

Courage Alicia, ton coeur guérira avec le temps. Nous partageons votre peine et sachez que vous êtes dans nos pensées.

Thinking of you all. Happy Thanksgiving.

Your rodeo words really got to me. I hope you two get to hold each other. Like you held her. And, look at that view. Wow. So open.

Nothing profound to say here other than I send a piece of my heart out to you today and hope it helps fill the void a little.

Good for you both! Time brings healing, just wait and see...

You don't know me, but I feel like I know you and Andy after reading your blog since 2005. My heart hurts for you both right now, but more than that it is full of admiration and hope and love and joy. Your strength in the face of this loss, your hope, your amazes me. Your words today spoke to something that is going on in my own life, and gave ME hope that my (comparatively minor) struggles are worth it, that things will get better, and that we just need to walk on. Reading your post today gave me so much hope, and the fact that you could accomplish that while hurting so much yourself...well, just thank you so much for sharing your beauty and your spirit with us, random strangers you will never know. Yes, it is good to be part of the world all together. ♥♥♥

Verify your Comment

Previewing your Comment

This is only a preview. Your comment has not yet been posted.

Your comment could not be posted. Error type:
Your comment has been posted. Post another comment

The letters and numbers you entered did not match the image. Please try again.

As a final step before posting your comment, enter the letters and numbers you see in the image below. This prevents automated programs from posting comments.

Having trouble reading this image? View an alternate.


post a comment

About Alicia Paulson


My name is Alicia Paulson
and I love to make things. I live with my husband and daughter in Portland, Oregon, and design sewing, embroidery, knitting, and crochet patterns. See more about me at