Winter Busy

comments: 154


There is pale morning light in the living room. There was fog this morning. It settled into a lovely, wispy frostcloud on top of the yard's fallen red leaves. A flock of fat birds were busy in our plum tree. For long minutes I watched them from the back door, then off they flew: On to the next stop. It's Andy's first day back at work in over a month. The dog and I console each other — she hates it when he's not here, and so do I. I plan a long walk arond the neighborhood to cheer her up. She sleeps beside me now, front paws curled under, tongue just barely peeking out. Sweet, warm, gentle friend.

Our weekend was quiet and peaceful. In all honesty, I had kind of forgotten that the holidays are starting! We had a beautiful Thanksgiving at my sister's on Thursday. We started and finished our Christmas shopping on Friday. On Saturday — egads, I already forgot what we did on Saturday. Oh yeah — we decorated the house for the holidays. On Sunday afternoon we made candles together. That was really fun. Very, very fun. We made Mexican hot chocolate. We made turkey tetrazzini. I have plans for a new throw quilt because it's cold in here. Something very improvised; I have no aptitude for forethought. I'm making a scarf to go with my new coat. I knit about a hundred rows of garter stitch in fingering-weight wool, and I'm not even done with the garter-stitch part. Even that sentence is mind-numbing. Busy hands, happy heart, as they say. Over and over again that proves true in my life. I am so grateful for my crafts.

Thank you, most sincerely, for every word you have given us these past many days as we get reorganized. I really am so overwhelmed by the comments and emails I continued to receive through the weekend. I don't even know how to begin to respond. Please know that we have been touched by your kindness more than I can ever say, and I am especially grateful for all of the love you have sent out into the universe for the baby and her family. Thank you very, very much. Your generosity has moved me to tears about fifty times in the past week. I'm really speechless about it. Thank you.


Lovely mantle, serene & softly quiet.

What an absolutely beautiful picture you have posted here! I'm happy to see that you have found a little bit of peace here...

Lovely and very peaceful mantle :) Sounds like you are keeping busy with holiday goodness. One step at a time.....and things will be on to another good path soon.

Love the photo of your mantle - so soft and dreamy.
Did you make those candles? Wow!

As you know from the last week or so if you need
someone to talk to you have a couple thousand people
here wanting you to succeed.

We got your back.

Thank you for sharing your world with us.

What a gerogous mantel - so pretty and perfect and peaceful. As always we love it when you share your heart and home with us - I feel like you just invite us all in. Mexican hot chocolate? YUM!

Julie G. in Iowa says: November 28, 2011 at 11:46 AM

Even with all the ups and downs you've had lately, your world still seems lovely and peaceful to me somehow. It must your kind spirit coming through everything you do.
Looks and sounds like the perfect snuggle-day with Clover Meadow and blankies!

I often think of garter stitch as the "one foot in front of the other" of knitting; gets you where you're going, and you arrive with a heartening scarf (or a blanket) as well.

Warm thoughts to all: 2-footed and 4-footed.

What a beautiful glow from your mantle. I feel like curling up in front of it and just basking in the warmth. Very comforting .....

I haven't commented on your last few posts because... well I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how I could say anything that would make any difference. I am heart broken for you and Andy. Much love, Lindy

oooo the mantle is so inviting! the snowflakes are hopeful and the candles offer up such a warm light...a nice place to be...beautiful!

As a long-time blog follower, obviously I don't REALLY know you, but it's still so heartening and inspiring to hear how you're coming through this impossibly difficult time with such grace. Wishing you the best, as are so many others!

I haven't commented yet, but I have been thinking of you a lot (even though I have never met you). So many ups and downs - wishing you the best!!!

That room is one I'd like to visit. Quiet, thoughtful, prayerful, meditative. I'd like to rearrange my brain to look like your mantel. :)

Sending you hugs and warmth from the south...though we scheduled to get a dusting of snow here. There is nothing like a loving pet to help make things better. It always does it for me.
Take care.

We all need no thanks Alicia:friends don't!

Mantle looks lovely.

Knitting, quilting, and a snuggley dog...a lovely, cozy day. Keeping you all in my thoughts. I feel honored by all you have shared with us, and I wish I could give each of you a big hug. Mexican hot chocolate...hmmm...putting that idea on my list! =-)

This photograph is stunning and peaceful all wrapped up together. Still thinking of you during this time and hoping the best for all of you.

Thank you for all you share.

I have been wanting to comment..

I read a lot of blogs, not one of them has made me cry, until I read your entry about letting your baby go. So I was sitting here, with my tea, here being all the way up in Norway, feeling so bad for your loss, drowning my tea in tears, and I should have commented on that post, but I couldnt, but now I can. And I wanted to let you know that you have been in my thoughts, and you will continue to be so, for a long time. I wish you all the best.

- Ida

I cried too. My heart is broken for you and Andy, the birth mother and the baby. But your trust that it all happened for a reason is encouraging--I pray too for that little shard of your heart to stay lodged in the heart of that precious baby girl you love so much. You are beautiful, in the way you create such beautiful life and share your heart, even when it's broken. Praying, PRAYING for you tonight.

You are such a beautiful lady.
And strong - I have two little autistic children and I used to craft all the time. I have said to my own "Andy" (my husband Ben (who is a big rock)) "well this is ok. We are surviving and getting by day by day." but somehow Autism did affect me - slowly over time it took away my time to craft.
Through your sadness, you keep going. Just look at that gorgeous mantle. You are amazing.
I am going to make time. Thank you for your gift.

Love to you and Andy. I am glad you had a busy holiday and so many lovely projects to tackle. Give Clover a pat on the head for me. I know she is a steadfast companion.
Wishing you hugs, hope and more grace in the coming days.

Thank YOU for your honesty and vulnerability with all of us. Love and prayers to you, Andy and the animals. :)

I second (and third, and fourth) your comment "I am so grateful for my crafts." So many times has a crochet hook or an embroidery needle brought me peace and strength and release when I needed it. I was on bed rest for several weeks last year and I truly believe that crafts are what helped me get through it with a positive attitude. I hope you continue to find peace in your crafts and among the people you love.

<3 Mandy

Alicia, K and I are sending you and Andy a really big hug right now. Actually, I've been for a few days, just didn't know what to say. I've had a good cry over this! I'm speechless, yet I want to write 20 pages to you too. We've had our own disappoints relating trying to become parents but not like this.

But I don't want us to dwell on the negative. I admire your courage and am SO grateful you have such a solid and vast network of people who care about you so much; it's because you both are amazing. I'm praying for that little girl too, and hope that in a different way a miracle is happening for her; perhaps her father's heart was opened up by the reality of her existence, and his life will be changed forever - for the better. One can hope!

I feel good about your future as parents, I really really do.


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About Alicia Paulson


My name is Alicia Paulson
and I love to make things. I live with my husband and daughter in Portland, Oregon, and design sewing, embroidery, knitting, and crochet patterns. See more about me at




Since August of 2011 I've been using a Canon EOS 60D with an EF 18-200mm kit lens and an EF 100mm f/2.8 Macro lens.