Little Flower

comments: 67

Wildflowers1

VioletFlower3

Bee3

Thank you so much for all of your kindness, and each and every one of your generous and tender words yesterday. I had a nice day and spent a lot of time outside in the front yard, fussing in my little ways over the garden and trying to make things nice out there. It felt really good. The plums (and leaves) on our big tree are starting to fall already. I set the little bunny sprinkler up in different areas and let it spray its gentle umbrella of droplets under the tree, in the vegetable beds, on the rock wall, along the fence. Clover and the Bee were quietly stuck to my side. Even the Bee, which surprised me. Last night she sat next to me on the sofa for the first time in all her twelve years. They miss their little flower, too. This morning we three went out again. Oh how I love that quiet hour before I start to hear traffic. On the rock wall, the watery circumference of the sprinkler was only a couple of feet. It frothed and tinkled just past the fence and then we heard the swooping in of a bird — a big, beautiful Northern flicker, coming to get a little bath, just feet from us. That's how quiet we were! Magical creature. She flew up into the plum tree and hopped around a bit, then worked on the telephone pole next to the tree, then left.

Last Friday night, Andy and I went up to the meadow at the arboretum. We sat on the hill among the daisies and the clover and the tall blond grass and watched evening come through. Behind us, between the enormous evergreen trees, birds swooped and darted in the mellow twilight. He picked me a bouquet and I carried it through the field and it's still in a pretty iced tea bottle on the table.

Little cats leaving make you think about your life, all the years that have passed and the way that you were. You think about all the conversations you had, just with her. There are ways I want to change myself and I thought about them last night, and told Andy about them.

The vegetables are growing like crazy! We shared the first tiny little red tomato on Sunday night, slicing it and sprinkling it with sea salt and olive oil, adding basil leaves and blobs of whole-milk ricotta and mozzarella. I can't stand fresh tomatoes from the grocery store, generally. But this one right off the vine was seriously the best tomato I have ever had. It really was like a little jewel, ruby red. I felt a little bit proud. We kept insisting the other one of us eat the last slice (which is how we fight over it). I see another one today that's on its way to being red. I hope he's home when I pick it (pulled like a magnet toward the tomato plant, hands out in front of me, leading), or I'm going to eat the whole thing (chomp).

67 comments

alicia, so very sorry to hear about your sweet kitty...we have had an indoor girl kitty for six years now and my daughter (who just turned 17) was asking me what will we possibly do when she is no longer part of our world...they add so much it is almost unexplainable. we too were saying that pets just must be in heaven so we can visit with them again, as susie said. so happy you got those great photos of them all together on the steps... take care x

I just saw your post from yesterday and I'm so very sorry for your loss. Violet was a lucky girl to have had such a wonderful family and such a happy life. Hugs to you all.

Nancy Hart says: July 17, 2012 at 01:05 PM

Kitty cats are balm to our hurried, worried souls. Nothing soothes more than a purring cat in a lap and a cup of tea. Blessings of peace to you!
I must say, everyday I check my blog posts and hope for a notification from 'Posie gets cozy'!! I am drawn into your gorgeous photos and your sweet appreciation of life. Thank you for being a bright spot in a dim world for me. :)

peaceful, quiet moments are the very best kind :)

I read somewhere that cats are the visible soul of a house and I know it is ttue...sorry to hear about your little violet.

So sorry you lost your dear little Violet. When my little buddy passed, the other, standoffish in the house kitty took on the role of lover almost immediately, and he never lost it. It's like they know the parts that need to be filled. Such sweeties.

Patty N. says: July 17, 2012 at 02:16 PM

So sad for your loss. Cats are such sweet creatures. Patty

When you lose a cherished old pet, you can't help but think of the younger self that you yourself were when you first got him. And all of the adventures, holidays,and just sweet quiet moments. And the moments when you come home and the pets are waiting so happily to greet you. Ahhhh....so hard to lose a beloved fur baby, yet I myself wouldn't have it any other way and I suspect you may feel the same. Thinking of you.

You author exceptional reads . . . I would say, you are pretty much exceptional in many, many ways.

Loving someone for a brief time, twelve years or twenty, family member, friend or pet, leaves its souvenirs on our heart and mind.

Your life stories leave souvenirs with me . . . with sadness for you in your loss of Violet . . .
and caring . . .

Beth in Maryland says: July 17, 2012 at 02:53 PM

Just don't change too much. XOX

So sorry about your sweet cat, Violet. I just lost my cat of fifteen years a month ago and miss him so much. My son had found him in a box in the canefield and brought him home crying so loudly. His eyes weren't open yet so we bottle fed him and bathed him and all loved him so much. Memories tied up with my Mom and how he loved to sit on her lap when she used to visit here. I know that's where he may be now, just loving up her touch!

I love the way you write. I love the way you let us have a peak into your life. Violet was so lucky to be in your family. I love how Bee came to comfort you and to be comforted. What a wonderful life you have!

PattiRNinMI says: July 17, 2012 at 03:18 PM

When my beloved German Shepherd, Belle, was diagnosed with bone cancer, I began following the BoneCancerDogs website and blogs. It was there that I learned that a penny on the sidewalk is a "Hello" message from a doggy who has crossed the Rainbow Bridge. Even now, almost three years since she crossed over, when I find a penny on the ground my first thought is "Beee--SUCH a good girl!" (tears as I type). If violets are as prevalent in Oregon as they are in Michigan you will have showers of messages that your girl is fine and still looking out for you, sending love from afar! PS watching for the pennies probly works for kitties too--just know she is still with you!

May only blessings of goodness smeld any trial in your home. Enjoy your peaceful garden and fuzzy companions!

two things i took away. andy picked you a wild flower bouquet and . . . sharing the first tomato like you did. that is love.

I love dropping by and seeing your photography. It is so heart-warming and soulful. You capture beauty in the simplest things.

I personally think animals (pets in particular) are highly evolved souls... angels of the highest sort. Funny how some belief systems put animals low on the scale of the evolved, I believe it is exactly the opposite. More highly evolved than humans, they are here to teach us the most pure and unconditional kind of love, a love we would have no way of experiencing without them. Keep them close in your heart and soul. ;)

Kitty Cats are the balm to our worried, hurried souls! So sorry you have lost a beloved pet. Blessings of peace to you!
Just want you to know I anxiously look in my postings every day hoping to find an update from you. I get lost in your photos and enjoy your musings.
Thank you for making a bright spot in this dim world for me!

Alecia,

My heart broke last year when I lost my sweet petal, she was 19 and a half and I was so sure she would be with me forever. Our younger cat, Miss M, who sounds like she is a bit like your Bea, totally changed overnight... she had been much more stand offish before and then she just became the most lovable creature. Every morning no matter where I am in the house or what I am doing, she insists that she gets into my lap and kisses me and purrs like there is no tomorrow. Although my heart broke, Miss M knew and is doing everything to try and make me/us better... aren't they funny creatures and where would we be without them? xoxox

Pets have such a way of letting you know that they share your loss.

We are unable to have kitties due to a serious allergy, but have had the blessing for the past few years of a daily visit by two orange tabby brothers who live at the end of our court. They were 23 years old - one very quiet and shy and the other very noisy and loving. The boys were quite the sight as they walked down the sidewalk together, ignoring the 100 lb black lab living next door who would run inside from fear. This year after spring broke only the quiet one showed up. Sadly his brother passed away during the winter. I miss him immensely. Funny how these little critters quietly sneak into your hearts. Thinking of you ...

I honestly can't think of one thing that you need to change about yourself. I think you're perfect just the way you are. You are both very blessed to have each other and your furry friends. A charmed life.

Your words are also little jewels. Little rain droplets. So precious. So very precious I want to hold them in my hand and read them again.
Brenda

I am a cat person, ever since I was 5.
My grandpa went with me to pick out my first kitty.
She lived to be almost 20. Saying goodbye to her was the hardest thing ever. It is so true how we talk to them and how we share our deepest thoughts.
Its amazing to have an animal last so long and what great memories you must have shared. I have also noticed that the second cat in the house does become more loving after the eldest has passed. As you need comfort, they give it. :)
Amy

anonymous says: July 17, 2012 at 05:54 PM

I have two dogs; one is 14 1/2 in stage 1 renal failure, the "auxilliary" dog is 10 and having liver issues which scare the vet and I. Both dogs get the best care I can give. You can't cry in front of them even though you are almost in a stage of fear/loss, they are so sensitive to their owner's emotions. Your next to last paragraph said it all. Thank you so much Alicia.

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About Alicia Paulson

About

My name is Alicia Paulson
and I love to make things. I live with my husband and daughter in Portland, Oregon, and design sewing, embroidery, knitting, and crochet patterns. See more about me at aliciapaulson.com

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Since August of 2011 I've been using a Canon EOS 60D with an EF 18-200mm kit lens and an EF 100mm f/2.8 Macro lens.