Getting There?

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Whooooosh! That was spring "break." Yes, it almost broke me! Firstly, when I scheduled the shipping of kits, I forgot that spring break was the same week. Secondly, I thought, up until 8:00 this morning, that they went back to school today, but they don't. (Thank you, Joyce.) Thirdly, I did assemble and ship all of the Time of Flowers kits last week, and the last batch is going out to the post office today. And fourthly, the house is trashed. Like — I don't even know. It looks ransacked. I was going to clean it today while Mimi was at school but, as above, it's still apparently spring break until Thursday, so no go. Also, broken dryer that has finally bitten the dust, so: laundromat. Etc. Life! :)

Nevertheless: THANK YOU GUYS for all of the Time of Flowers kit orders! Oh, my heart swells when I pack the orders. So many familiar names, year and year. I'm so grateful to you for all of your support. Thank you. I have 56 extras that are in the shop right now. I will be working on my cross-stitch post and releasing the PDF-only option later this week, when Mimi does actually go back to school and I have a minute. But for now I truly hope you enjoy working on these kits and I sincerely thank you so much for your orders and your interest. Summer and fall designs are swirling around in my head and I have loved every minute of working on this series so far, with more to come.

Also swirling around in my head are . . . I don't know . . . a million things. Andy took a week off a few weeks ago and completely cleaned out our basement. It (and he!) is spectacular. Next up is my office and our "annex" office, which is where I store a lot of Posie stuff, including floss, yarn, fabric, packing supplies, works in progress, so much stuff. I've kind of been in a state of . . . I don't even know what to call it. Sort of a mania, I think. I'm changing as Amelia changes, I think. Her independence literally grows before our eyes. And as it does, I'm discovering new things for myself, as well. It's a seriously exciting time, but it's also, like, weirdly uncomfortable. I have a million ideas I want to pursue, but I need to totally reorganize my office first. The things in these small spaces that once served me — really, for the seven years (I think?) since we last re-did the office — just aren't serving me or my current interests right now. So I want to repaint (what color?) and remove things that I'm just not working with currently, and move in the things that I am working with (yarn, dyeing supplies, new doll ideas, etc.). This feels like a huge job. I'm reading the tidying up book and I'm all-in on it, conceptually — it's literally just a matter of finding time. And reimagining a space we've lived in for eighteen years without a major reorganization. So, it's almost like my brain is reorganizing and my space is reorganizing as I prepare for what it will be like to have Amelia go to kindergarten next year. I want to make all of these changes good for our whole family, you know what I mean? And I want to start thinking about it now, and working on it now, so that when we all get to that place next fall we are feeling good and excited and ready for the next phase. I can see that part of me has really been flying by the seat of my pants since becoming a mother, and honestly, I'm ready for things to feel a little more . . . dialed in.

Have you experienced this? I don't even really know how to describe what I'm feeling. I know this is abstract. It does have something to do with the fact that our child is no longer, like, pulling tablecloths off the dining-room table and can, instead, run her own bath. . . . You know what I mean? There's more time to think of things, in a way or, at least, I can see that time coming. . . . Tell me what you think.

***My mom has an incredible blooming yard as well as three chickens, so we have fresh eggs constantly and they are delicious. I love eggs! Also, we went to see The Very Hungry Caterpillar Show by the Oregon Children's Theater and we loved it. Highly recommend for this age.

52 comments

hey miss alicia, i feel as tho i do know very much what your abstract feelings are .. however it has been since my girl has graduated high school .. she graduates college in one month .. i too feel this year is 'the year' to dial it back & get it into focus .. lots of life 'crisis' moments (as jodi was saying) over the last few years .. flying by seat of pants mastered .. do not like it .. you seem to manage very well .. i remember your last office 'tidy up' and look forward to seeing how your new spaces turn out .. take it a day at a time .. sometimes an hour .. wishing you peace and calm through it all :)

Christine says: April 03, 2018 at 09:29 AM

My kit arrived yesterday It is gorgeous. I just have to finish the Night, Neighborhood one before I start a new one. I was out walking my dog the other night and I looked up and saw the trees and the moon and I thought of Night, Neighborhood. I'm look forward to seeing photos of your office when you are finished. I really love seeing photos of your home. I think it is good to let it get trashed sometimes because then when it gets cleaned it looks and feels extra nice.

My package arrived today looking like it got lost in the underbrush on the journey, but the contents are pristine and lovely! The colors are glorious in person!

Everything you say about motherhood...yes. My youngest is graduating from high school this year and I'm still flying by the seat of my pants. I have high hopes that in the fall when both she and her brother are off at college I'll finally pull my house together, get everything sorted and organized, and be able to keep up with the dishes, but I fear I'm going to find out I'm really just a lousy housekeeper! :)

Lynn Marie says: April 04, 2018 at 05:18 AM

I don't think the re-organizing ever ends!! My grandchildren are the age of Amelia and I am also thinking I need to re-organize all the areas of our house as we near retirement age in 4 years. I got my kit yesterday and LOVE it and cannot wait to get started on it. I thought Spring was coming to northern Indiana and woke up to snow this morning---bah humbug! Love the pictures of your new yarn-dyeing passion. ☺

My little girl starts college in the fall. Where does the time go? I ask that every day. I started a longarm quilting business three years ago and will be adding to it soon. I have been pondering the reorganization of that space as well as my "landlocked" and pretty useless regular sewing space. I too would like to get everything done by fall so I can have welcoming spaces in which to work while I adjust to the empty nest. My husband passed away almost seven years ago and my daughter has been my reason to get up in the morning. This is going to be a hard landing, and I want to give myself my best chance of adjusting to the change.

Jane Miller says: April 04, 2018 at 08:39 AM

I have a 32 year old daughter who is autistic and has a seizure disorder. I have been flying by the seat of my pants every day...every moment of her life...but it has been an amazing ride! Finding time to reorganize is hard, but you can do it! Love your blog!

Absolutely! My youngest just turned 4 yesterday and I feel those new chapters you describe seem to happen abruptly, even when I can see them coming weeks and months in advance. I love that you are embracing it for yourself by painting walls and reorganizing your space. A wonderful way to tangibly turn yourself towards a new beginning (the spring season certainly inspires that, as well!) that has grown out of the past.

Beth, I know exactly how you feel! It happens again when they go to middle school. The minute you feel like you can breathe, motherhood throws you something new to master.

And yes, there are mountains of schoolwork! I have two boxes per kid: a giant box for all that 11x17 art, and a file box with a hanging folder for each grade level. I save everything that’s a reflection of them: writing, art, no math worksheets unless they doodles on them, then we cull together at the beginning of the next school year. At that point, they’re ready to say goodbye to a lot of last year’s “babyish” work, and you can keep the best version of the seventeen rainbow unicorns that came home over the year. Impossible to gauge in the thick of it all.

I love Clare's comment, "You'll always be flying by the seat of your pants, but the pants will be hand made...." Ha ha!

And for Beth, Amy, and the rest of us mothers, a poem I copied from a magazine decades ago when my own "reason to get up in the morning" was small. It was listed as Source Unknown.

Mother's Covers

"When you were small
And just a touch away,
I covered you with blankets
Against the cool night air.
But now that you are tall
And out of reach,
I fold my hands
And cover you with prayer."

I’ve got an email that my Time of flowers kit had been shipped and it made me so happy! I gues it would take 3-4 weeks to come here and I have time to finish my First snow. I love spring in your place, it’s so beautiful! Always waiting for your posts and your stories, such a wonderful reading. And chickens and fresh eggs sound wonderful:) might be great experience for Amelia.

I always love to see the yarn pullers out or thread pulling device or whatever you call it. It makes me so happy to see a handmade kit like that.

Were you talking about the Marie Kondo book? I love that book, but I have not applied her principles in person yet. I think it would work for me, but I just haven't done it. What I have done is bring in less stuff. Now when I get a cool catalog in the mail, I ask myself if I need something for that catalog - Nope. Into the recycling it goes right away.

I love that time when you have a million ideas at once. It's a little unsettling, but still exciting. It is hard to decide what next though.

Your creative spurts are inspiring as always. Thank you for not showing major food photos in this post. There's little edible stuff in my house right so I didn't need the stimulation.

Thank you as always for your lovely posts.

Laura Smartt says: April 05, 2018 at 06:44 AM

Oh the kits are wonderful! Can’t wait to get started. My last kiddo turns five next week. I will miss the babyness but more time for myself helps keep me sane!

Such a good post and all the great comments. I especially loved what Tracy said about high hopes of getting organized when her youngest goes to college, but the fear of finding out she’s really just a lousy housekeeper....me too, Tracy, me too!!😂😂. My kit came last week, so lovely, thank you!

I definitely understand. Seeing my two become more independent at first caught me off guard. Now I'm all in, writing science fiction, writing science, painting watercolors, making my own business encompassing all those things somehow, and definitely converting what space I can in a rental home for office work. I have a lot of limitations for what I can work with in terms of space, money, etc. so I am having to do this piecemeal. Which is frustrating on one hand, but as the business evolves, so does my process.

I just received my kit and I am so excited! Everything about it is lovely, the threads, the fabric, the pattern, the packaging. A perfect way to celebrate spring. We are also working on spring cleaning and tidying, and I have read the cleaning book twice but still have such a sentimental attachment to so many things. It is hard to let them go and clear the way for open spaces and potential, but we are getting there bit by bit. We are in the tablecloth pulling stage of life, and is hard to imagine not endlessly chasing a 2.5 year old tornado and cleaning the mess left in her wake, but I know that day will come too.

Susan Roberts says: April 07, 2018 at 05:56 AM

Oh my gosh, you are sooooo busy and yet, find the time to post these wonderful pics and write too! I appreciate all of what you share with us. Funny, I feel like there is not enough time in the day and I'm a grandma with 5 sweet grandkids (that live close by) and I work part-times. All the stages in life to adjust to and so very bittersweet at times! I'm still flying by the seat of my pants many days!

You are really a great mother Alicia.Kids need a lot of care and full attention, and so glad of that you are doing more than that which kids need.

Aaaah your yarns are always such beautiful colours!
My Amelia turned 4 this year, and I agess - everything is changing and evolving around the house all the time!
That same Hungry Catepillar show with the puppets etc was put on here in Australia last year! I went along with Amelia and her class of 3 year old preschoolers - so much fun! Did yours have the bit where the guy was painting and the animals came out of the walls? So good!
xo

It sounds to me you might need to lighten the load around you, as in letting go of what isn't working for you and keeping those things that do work for you. A good clean out will give you more room to reorganize your work/live space(s). Plus it's deeply satisfying.
Paint colors are a personal thing. What colors give you the feeling of happiness, comfort, creativeness. Those would be the colors to choose from. Have you visited Design Seeds https://www.design-seeds.com/ Have a look through their "Seasonal Atlas", it's loaded with colors that will stir your creative senses.
We've all been through what you're going through right now. It's a life cycle shift. It will happen several times throughout your life. Just try to hang on, enjoy and try not to feel too overwhelmed.

Oops, I forgot to mention too that Design Seeds is also a great inspirational resource for yarn dyeing (color combos, etc.).

I scroll down, through
and think
sugar
and
spice
oh
my

Ah, yes. I know the feeling that you are describing. My youngest is a senior in high school and I too am looking to be a bit more "dialed." It's never ending. Each phase puts you in constant readjustment. One year it's leaving preschool and heading into kindergarten and the next year (I swear it's only been a year!) you're looking around for dorm room supplies after they've sent off their college applications. My problem is that with each phase I thought I was "set." *laughing* Life has shown me otherwise. :)

Oh how I wish I could come help you organize and rearrange your studio. Those are two of my favorite things and doing them in a studio is the most wondrous of activities. I think I must settle for closing this laptop and reorganizing mine. Few things recharge my creativity like cleaning up my studio.

You have many exciting changes coming this fall. I think when you have a baby, you are in survival mode in many ways and for many years. When Emma started school I was a little lost, excited, full of ideas but still kind of didn't know what to do with myself. I expect a similar experience when she goes off to college in a year and a half. I'm positive we will both figure it out and thrive after adjusting!

Nice little girl playing with small things looking cute.

Sara Logan says: April 17, 2018 at 05:37 AM

How wonderful that you saw the Very Hungry Caterpillar! My former student, whom I taught for 5 years in Minnesota, lo these many years ago, was the caterpillar puppeteer!!

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About Alicia Paulson

About

My name is Alicia Paulson
and I love to make things. I live with my husband and daughter in Portland, Oregon, and design sewing, embroidery, knitting, and crochet patterns. See more about me at aliciapaulson.com

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Since August of 2011 I've been using a Canon EOS 60D with an EF 18-200mm kit lens and an EF 100mm f/2.8 Macro lens.