Pulling Together comments: 74

Oh, where do the days go? They slide away, they slide away. It's been three months since our stay-home order went into effect. It's felt long and also short, since the days are all so similar they really do run together. I've been having a rough time of it lately. We've gotten out to the woods and the river a bit, and that has been wonderful. Absolutely wonderful. I would like to go all the time. I love everything about the river. I love stopping at Jimmy John's [edited: won't be going to Jimmy John's after what you guys have just told me — ugh, thank you, I had no idea] and picking up sandwiches right on the edge of town. I love the drive into the country, past Christmas tree farms and billowing foxglove groves. I love the smell of the woods and stopping the car for a mama deer and three babies. I love watching Amelia play with her toys in the sand. I love watching raptors circle endlessly over the river. I love reading in my chair. I love when Andy and Amelia go on adventures. I love the sound of the water. I want to go all the time. I can't wait to go back. My nerves feel better for it, for sure.

I hope you are all well and hanging in there!

Amelia is currently in the bathtub. I gave her a can of shaving cream and said go for it. She's hooting and hollering in there right now. She just asked me for another can (no). She's spent most of the day in her underpants, watching Inspector Gadget in the office and eating water chestnuts out of a can with a fork. It's over 90 degrees outside and sunny, without a breeze in sight. I watered the garden at about 8:30 a.m. and then shot right back into the AC. Andy is back at work today for the first time in maybe a week. But we'll pay for that now, all that glorious time off; I think he is working seven days out of the next nine days. Twelve-hour shifts. An hour bus commute on either side. That's rough, though he never, ever lets it show. But we miss him when he's not here.

We stopped at the plant nursery yesterday to pick up some shade annuals for the porch and then we went to the library to pick up the book (Such a Fun Age by Kiley Reid) I had placed on hold last winter. They are finally doing hold pick-ups at the library. They meet you at the front door; there there's a table blocking the entrance, and they slide the book to you on a tray. Sigh. I can't say I enjoyed being out at all, though I had been excited to go. We were only gone an hour or two. But I was so relieved to be home, back under my tree, watching Andy plant the impatiens and Amelia whack at the lawn with a croquet mallet. I guess I'll stick to the river for a while.

I have started a new Sawtooth Star quilt for myself, but I have not worked on it too much. It will be eight blocks each of ten different star combos, made of my precious calicos and hand-dyed (by me) muslin. It will be a king-size quilt that I will line with an Ikea comforter (turn and burn method [layer batting, top, then bottom; stitch around all sizes leaving an opening to turn, turn then stitch opening closed], then I'll tie it). I like my quilts to be just thin, puffy comforters now. I've decided I really don't like binding and I don't like machine-quilting — it all makes the quilt too stiff, in my opinion. I'm going back to puffballs tied with #5 perle cotton. I made one for my sister's birthday present (see first picture). Stay tuned, we'll see if I get this thing for myself finished. A precision quilter I am not, though I did buy a fancy Flying Geese ruler, and that is helping very much.

Amelia and I baked a blueberry–cream cheese babka, an Earl Grey cake (the recipe I used doesn't seem to be available any more), and a rhubarb custard pie. Today we are going to make Orange Julius popsicles and chicken tacos.

I have finished my design for Things of Summer (digital screen shot is above) and the printed patterns have arrived (though I haven't opened the box yet; fingers crossed that all is well in there), so I will start putting kits together next week, and it will be on sale soon!

What are you favorite historical fiction movies, like big, epic ones? Or series? I am so in the mood for that. I've been watching absolute garbage TV lately. I do love it so!!!

comments: 60

I took a bike ride again yesterday. This time I went the other way, not down the hill toward the fancy houses but up the flat road toward the high street. It felt like I hadn't been out in days, weeks, years, had I ever been out?

I rode slowly. It was still quiet, as quiet as it was months ago. My tires were low and it was hard to pedal, which felt right. Everything feels hard. I thought of the tens of thousands of protestors all over the country, out there for hours, hour after hour, day after day. I thought of the struggle of Black people and people of color, and how unbelievably exhausted they must be. I thought of George Floyd and the searing, sickening tragedy of his murder. My legs felt tired, my muscles atrophied and fragile, my bad foot aching and sore. House after house had signs in the window. Black Lives Matter. No Justice No Peace. Say Their Names. Say Their Names. Say Their Names. Sign after sign after sign. Flowers in the gardens, toys scattered in driveways, the smell of mulberries or something like them, sweet and old-fashioned and ripe, in the air. My wheel rubbed against its dented fender, scritch . . . scritch. The tears bubble up so easily these days. There's so little between them and everything, anything else. But there should be the easiest of tears for the evil and cruelty of this senseless, ruthless murder: IT IS WRONG. My heart is breaking for the Floyd family, for the others who have been senselessly murdered, for the pain and suffering of Black people, and for the centuries of systemic racism they have endured. It is all wrong. But . . . so many signs! Thousands and thousands of peaceful protestors in our parks and on our streets! Young people and old people, people of every race and gender, families and children, marching, listening, speaking, begging to be recognized, begging for justice in our country. I have hope. I pray that these days will result in real change. I pray that their voices are heard. Add mine to them.

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Andy Paulson had a birthday last week and he turned 49. Amelia and I made him an Earl Grey cake with honey-buttercream frosting and gave him a Polaroid camera, a frozen hot-dog kit from Portillo's, and several (frozen) Lou Malnotti's pizzas. We watched the SpaceX launch live while talking on walkie-talkies with our neighbors and eating Bomb Pops together. The weather was hot for five minutes and I immediately ordered a gigantic blow-up pool and a side table for my drink and my book (Remain Silent by Susie Steiner, my favorite mystery writer, and the book just came out yesterday). About three weeks ago I suddenly developed some kind of nervous rumble in my torso that never goes away and feels like I'm perpetually about to bungee jump off the side of a cliff. I finished my Things of Summer cross-stitch design and sent the pattern to the printer but I don't remember proofing it and am not sure it would've helped anyway, so let's just keep our fingers crossed on that. I should probably add an errata page to my web site. I made a quilt for my sister's birthday and don't much remember doing that, either. We took sandwiches to the woods and sat under the trees but there were so many people and so many baby mosquitoes that we didn't stay long. Amelia writes in her (school-assigned) journal: "Yesterday I had to take a bath, but I didn't want to. So I did best & soon I'm done." Next day: "Yesterday I had to write in this journal but I did not want to. But I did best & soon I was done." Lord help me. I want to go get a burger and fries at the brew pub more than I can say. I watched Virgin River and New Girl on Netflix and countless episodes of Gardener's World and Escape to the Country. The seeds Amelia and I planted at Mother's Day are coming up. I would give anything for this rumble to be gone from me. . . .

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I hope you are all well and healthy. My neighborhood sent out this list of resources and ways that we can actively work against racism. Parts of it are specific to Portland but it has a lot of other good information. I am listening, and I pledge to continue listening. As we head into summer I am looking forward to parts of the country re-opening and I hope that it goes well. I doubt that things will change too much for our family in regard to reopening, quite frankly, even when Multnomah County does ever start to re-open. I am mostly looking forward to having the playgrounds open for Amelia. I think that has been the very hardest thing for her: no friends and no playgrounds. It's hard to be an only child right now. I promised her we would make New York Cherry ice cream today. I would, if I could, give a scoop and a hand and a hug to all of you.