Cold. Snap! comments: 203

Cold! I like it! It feels like winter! There was black bean soup, lasagnas, hot tea and cinnamon rolls, Andy-made risotto, and cupcakes. There was a crackling fire in the fireplace most days, and glowing sunsets, and scarves and gloves, and I took one of my favorite pictures ever of Mt. Hood from the side of Mt. Tabor late Friday afternoon. Our amazing baby girl is three months old. She is such an incredible joy. Her personality is coming through more every day. She is very laid back (almost never cries), very cuddly, "talking" up a storm, smiling all the time, trying to figure out how to laugh (it comes out like a fake cough — so adorable), chewing on her hand, making us laugh with her funny faces and noises throughout the day, still sleeping throughout the night. Oh, girl. I love you so.

Bunnies, bunnies, bunnies. I have been sewing bunnies and bunny dresses and bunny boots. I have been tweaking my bunny pattern — changing things by millimeters, trying to get the bunny I want (you'd be surprised at how much very small changes in the pattern entirely change the personality of the bunny). I'm about to start Bunners #4 and I think I've almost got her to my liking. I have been having lots of conversations with Andy and Greta about making bunny kits (and a pattern). To that end, I've been sourcing materials and planning assembly and wondering how much time it will take us to wind a thousand tiny skeins of sport-weight wool yarn for bunny capelets. I've decided that the bunnies should be wearing Liberty peasant dresses. Obviously bunnies would wear Liberty peasant dresses! That only makes sense. More on the bunnies later. Slightly obsessed with the bunnies.

Tomorrow the construction starts on the upstairs cabinets. That will be loud and messy for a week. I'm excited about it but I can't wait until it's finished. I have looked at about five hundred rolls of vintage wallpaper (here and here and here) trying to pick out wallpaper for one wall of the bedroom. I like about a hundred of them. How do you choose, seriously. I don't know. They're quite amazing.

I saw Silver Linings Playbook over the weekend and I LOVED it so much. New favorite movie.

Wonderful Day comments: 241

Such a nice birthday! The weather was absolutely balmy. We went for a long walk around the neighborhood. I tried to make a cake just like this one, but I used  Cloudburst Frosting instead of the two frostings she recommended, and I think hers was much prettier! It tasted great, though. Andy made dinner for me. My mom and sister came for the morning. I got lots of lovely messages and cards and presents (though I can't imagine any better present than Amelia). Thank you for all of your kind wishes!!! It was a wonderful day.

I'm very tired! We had some construction here last week and through most of the weekend. All of the carpet came out of the stairwell and the upstairs landing and the guest room (which will be Amelia's room when she moves out of her nursery). Under the carpet was beautiful hardwood flooring that had been covered for many years. The contractor (Jozo of Euro Masonry) installed all of this gorgeous wainscoting through the stairwell, as well as trim around the stairs. It was a lot of work but he did an amazing job. I love it so much. Everything still needs to be painted (this white that you see is just the primer), and the stair risers need primer and paint. But it feels like this is how the stairwell was truly meant to be, and that feels really good. I love doing good things for this old house. Construction starts next week on the wall of built-ins and the window seat for Amelia's room. I'm really excited about it. I'll take more photos of the hallway once it's painted properly. The light in the house is incredibly dark — the skies are dark, the clouds are dark, the days feel quite dim from morning until night. I have so many little lamps and electric candles on throughout the day, from early morning until we go up at night. Ah, winter.

*Her bonnet is Little Heaume on Ravelry. I need to make an entry for that — sorry! Here is my link!

New Year Start comments: 318

Thank you so much for all of the New Year's greetings! We had a very, nice quiet (embarrassingly quiet; we didn't even stay awake until midnight) new year! I made a pancake. Amelia rocked her new bouncy seat. Our dear friends and neighbors had us for dinner at their lovely house on New Year's Day. I made a bunny (I named her Marjorie) for Amelia (I don't have a pattern for her because I made it up. But maybe I'll write a pattern. I have a few changes in mind, anyway!). I made seafood chowder yesterday in my new stock pot (an awesome Christmas gift from Andy's parents) and it was really good! I find that it's Friday already, and that is startling. My birthday is on Monday. What kind of birthday cake do you think I should I make?

comments: 249

Mornings, noons, and nights. My girl and I are early risers. Up around 5 a.m. (which is when Andy gets up to go to work), I take my shower by Christmas-tree light, and bring my trusty coffee pot and my fake candle back up to bed on the tray. Then I wait for my lady to wake. When she does, I go in and unwrap her from her swaddle and she smiles at me. Her big huge darling smile. (That's been happening for about a week. Still just can't believe she does that. It's my favorite moment of the day.) She unfolds her tiny arms and reaches up with her fists and down with her tiny toes and stretches everything. She makes her little blustering noises, tiny snorts and snuffles — it's hard to wake up. I say, "Good morning, my dear lady! What are we going to do today?" Then I pick her up and she buries her face in my neck and puts her warm hands on my chest. I kiss her neck where it's warm and soft (well, where isn't it warm and soft) and we linger here, only minutes (before she wiggles and yawps and calls for her breakfast), but for as long as she'll let me. The day begins. These lazy, busy, soft, warm, long, lovely, lovely days at the end of the lovely year with our sweet, funny, silly, snuggly, adorable, adorable, darling girl. I look into her beautiful navy blue eyes and make a wish.

***

Just a minute ago it was "snowing," small almost-flakes that Greta (miracle Posie assistant, who comes three afternoons a week and who has kept everything running like clockwork, running better than when I ran it myself, quite frankly) and I, both of us Midwestern girls, watched from the windows with pure longing. I can see why they call them flurries. Such a pretty and capricious word. The flakes swirled and fell, invisible as they hit the ground. Inside, we are cozy and keeping warm, piled under our various piles of calico, wool, and goosedown. We seem to have so many piles like that here. A pile for every room. We don't do much (well, dear Greta does, but the rest of us don't). Just sit, and snuggle, and drink, and sometimes rock in the rocking chair, maybe make some tea or hot chocolate, maybe watch Downton Abbey, maybe light a firelog or add some wood to one that's already flickering, and then go back to the downy pile. I like to turn all the sounds off and listen to the furnace sometimes. Last night, late last night, I finished The Long Winter. That book was awesome. I can't believe I'd never read it before. The scene where Almanzo and Cap are trying to make it back across the frozen slough with the sixty bushels of wheat and the horses keep falling through the snow? Ouf. The way she described Prince standing in the snow hole with his head down, waiting for Almanzo to help him again almost made me cry. MAN do I love pioneer lit. I still have to tell you about my other books. But I am so lazy.

New Year's Eve. A goodbye to the old year, even as everything here still seems so new. I still haven't really found the words to describe most of how I feel. Part of that is probably just plain old tiredness. I was generally worn out by the holidays when I didn't have a three-month-old baby. Part of it is (still) just plain astonishment. Even when I'm just thinking to myself, hearing my own voice ramble on inside me and not even trying to talk out loud, I'm still just mostly thinking, "I am astonished!" And that feeling looks like a big blue Montana sky.

Part of it is that gratitude just floods me moment to moment, and humbles me speechless. I think in prayers now, and I guess they have a language all their own.

I wish you a very, very happy and fun New Year's Eve, and a really wonderful new year.

Nicest Week comments: 97

Christmas was wonderful. Festive, joyful, fun, and so sweet, with just enough quiet to let you stop and take the quiet moments in without rushing. Christmas with this baby girl is a dream of mine come true. I think she had a wonderful time!

This week between Christmas and New Year's is one of the best. There are no expectations for it, really, other than to finish off Christmas cookies and try to clean up the house a bit. We have a whole new remodeling project starting in January. It's gonna be cool. A big built-in wall of drawers, cabinets and bookshelves, with a window seat for Amelia's big-girl room (currently the guest room). It's even going to have sconces wired in so she can sit in the window seat and read. I'm pretty psyched about this! More on that later.

For now, there is just a ton of lounging around under lots of blankets by the fireplace. Cider drinking. Clementine eating. Baby books-and-presents (so many beautiful presents!) sorting. Area-rug browsing. Movie watching. Knitting. A lot of trying to figure out what to eat and who's going to make it. Napping. Reading (I got some new books, too). Baby kissing. Baby cuddling. Baby rocking. Baby watching. A LOT of baby talking. She is "talking" like crazy. Really, the cutest thing ever.

She's also been sleeping eight hours a night for the past week. A Christmas miracle! Awesome.

I hope your week has been just wonderful. Thank you for all of your kind greetings!!! Xoxoxo

P.S. Those two portraits (at my sister's house) are of my two grandmothers, Angelina and Lucille.

Merry Bright comments: 244

*** Wishing you all a peaceful and joyous Christmas, filled with everything and everyone you love. ***

With much love and best wishes from us here,
The Paulson Family: Andy, Alicia, Amelia, Clover Meadow, and the Queen Bee

Winter Wonder comments: 159

Oh, snow! Thank you, thank you Brother North-wind!!! A million small blessings, falling on my face in the front yard, in the morning light. The most beautiful thing to wake up to.

[Pirouette, and flourish.]

All gone now, but nevermind. It was glorious.

There's a very small, very adorable baby dressed in a pale pink kimono onesie and oatmeal-colored tights lying between my legs under a crocheted blanket here on the chaise lounge. She's looking up out the big windows and talking to herself and kicking me in the stomach, which is one of my favorite things. She has long conversations with me and with herself and with the sky as she kicks and makes funny faces and balls up her fists and shoots out her arms and laughs at little things only she understands. We've been here for hours and hours today, wrapped in quilts and corgi and bottles and cups of tea. Sometimes she suddenly sleeps, or requests her bottle, but mostly we talk, and look, and sometimes I watch Christmas movies and surf Pinterest for ideas for window seats and her big-girl room (extremely fun). The furnace kicks on and goes off again. The sun comes out and disappears. The UPS man comes and goes, causing the poor puppers to lose her mind with anticipation. He often stops at our house, and brings her a treat; when he goes to someone else's (his truck is quite distinctive, so we know the second he turns onto our block) she can hardly believe her ears. We spent the weekend at parties, one ours, one our neighbors' for us, surrounded by friends and families. In the wake of such a long, sad week, it felt good to stick together and stay close to everyone we love. Under the evergreen boughs and the Christmas lights, listening to the old carols, remembering my dad and the ones who aren't here anymore, I held my baby girl in my warm arms and kissed her big pink cheeks and told her all sorts of things I wanted her to know. About good people. About snow. About good things. About joy. About love. Always about love.

Today

Today has turned into a such a sad day. My heart is breaking for all of the children and families and everyone in Connecticut, and for all victims of such terrible senseless tragedies, including my fellow Portlanders here at the shopping mall this week. My thoughts and prayers are with them. I really can't find words. I send this out as a wish for peace and comfort for all.

Early Light comments: 152

Baby Santa Lucia. She is Norwegian by birth, Swedish and Italian by adoption. What a little love. She looks like she's fake sleeping in that last photo, and she is. She was up almost all day yesterday. That's only happened once before — usually she is a very reliable napper. She chuckled out loud to herself at one point. I burst out laughing. I think that's the first time that I've really seen her actually laughing. It was quite fleeting — like a big smile that got so big it made a noise and then turned into something else. It was awesome. I hope she does it again today!

*I made her dress from this pattern (it's in French, sorry!), and her shoes were made by a local designer called Little Deer many years ago (I used to carry them in my shop, when I had it, but I don't think she's making them anymore). I made the chevron blanket from this pattern. I don't know why I never put that on Ravelry. I should do that! :)

comments: 164

Outside it's cold, dark, gray, blue, windy, rainy, and wet. Inside we are warm and dry and happy. Andy's mom has been here visiting from Chicago since late Sunday night. Amelia has spent the past two days pretty much completely wrapped in her grandma's loving arms. It's been so nice to have her here.

I can see now from the photos that there has been a lot of tea drinking and napping in quilts and baby-cuddling around here. Ahhhhhhh. Yes, please.

I did make soup. And biscuits. And wrapped a lot of presents. And went out with my niece for Moonstruck chocolate milkshakes. We had a great time at the calendar store. I sewed a bit, and watched some Christmas movies, and tried to write some Christmas cards, though I didn't get too far.

Early this morning I woke up before everyone else. I crept around downstairs and started the coffee maker. I turned on the Christmas tree and let the cat out into the dark. I washed my face and brushed my teeth then made my coffee and took it back to my sofa-nest. I had on my new white nightgown, made out of the softest cotton lawn and trimmed with a pale blue ribbon, the sweetest gift from Andy's mom. The sky was just starting to get light. Tiny dark birds flitted from the branches down to the bird feeders and back up to the branches. I sat and watched my neighbors getting up and going to school and work in the blue-gray half-light. Whispy white smoke came out chimneys across the street. I thought about Amelia going to school in a few years. I got so happy and excited for her. It was a really great morning.